I don't think they are not needling those points because they are hesitant, they just are not very effective most of the time for these issues. We use them quite a bit for panic attacks, reflux, abdominal issues, etc. - particularly ST 10, 11, 12... GB 2 does fit from what you describe being more for ear and TMJ/trigeminal Issues. Personally with what you have I wouldn't use any of them as this is usually more of a neck issue and the pain is simply referred. We generally don't treat the face at all and would focus on scalp points, neck points and the upper back along with lots of tuina massage and probably cupping. (there are many approaches).
I'm pretty sure the acupuncturists are doing what they should be doing and that is using their diagnostic skills, your medical history, and their experience to treat you properly to the point where the headaches are eliminated. While what you are doing acupressure wise may be helping, the fact remains that you are still having pain so treating the imbalance beyond some local points is our goal. Properly treated the goal is a complete elimination of your issues along with the need for further treatments.